VIDEO: Nkosi talks about that dark place
SPOTLIGHT: Springbok wing Sibusiso Nkosi is “feeling the light” again after taking some time off to deal with mental health issues.
The 27-year-old Bulls wing made headlines around the world in December after he was reported missing.
After going AWOL for about three weeks, the wing was eventually found at the residence of his father in Witbank (Emalahleni) in Mpumalanga.
Two months later, Nkosi is back with the Bulls preparing for the rest of the United Rugby Championship and Champions Cup campaigns.
“I’m good. I can say I am out of the cave,” Nkosi said in an interview with the Bulls’ media team.
“I am feeling the light in my skin and the wind in my hair.
“I am feeling myself again – my spirit is revived.
“I felt like I was almost a shadow of the man I was supposed to be and I needed to stake a step back to fix it before it became a problem.”
Nkosi opened up on that pressure that was weighing him down.
“Things that were normally easy for me just became a little harder, so I had to go back to the drawing board to understand what is going on,” the wing explained.
“Apart from the man fulfilling his potential, it’s the man fulfilling his responsibility in many different ways.
“The pressure kicks in. We got fans, we got family. Everybody is looking towards us with these big bright eyes that we never want to disappoint.
“Me being the emotional creature that I am, those things tend to take a heavier toll on people like me. I have been told I centralise everything under emotion, so I have learnt to handle that in the past two months.
“I can feel the beast starting to growl in my stomach again. My confidence is back up. My vision is clear.
“There was a lot of cloudiness and that has now disappeared. Those are the characteristics that I need to be myself.”
Nkosi admitted that the “negative energy” was building already when he was in Durban with the Sharks.
“I don’t think there is a specific moment [when it started], but I do think that are significant triggers along the journey of this absolutely vile energy building up and It started back at the Sharks in the last few months of my stint there.
“Then I came here [Bulls] to this beautiful environment and it got me up.
“There are amazing players, good coaches and the people upstairs are here for us, so I got a lift from that.
“At some point, everything started becoming heavier again and something that seemed like back luck would compound on top of each other.
“It was like I was fighting a negative energy that was right next to me the whole time.
“Things just started to spiral and I needed that to halt so that it doesn’t spiral into chaos.”
Watch the full interview below:
