Ten reasons the Boks must win
South Africa and defending champions England go head-to-head in the World Cup Final in Paris on Saturday and rugby365.com‘s John Dobson tells us why the Springboks must and will triumph!
1. Lawrence Dallaglio. He cannot, must not, get two World Cup winning medals. It’s amusing watching him strain every sinew for his belting out of the God Save The Queen and at the Annual Awards for Most Emotional Anthem he would certainly be a nominee with Vasco Uva of Portugal and the Argentinian front row. Thing is, Lawrence, it actually is more convincing if you actually made the starting team. No use in going through all that passion to go and take your seat in the stands next to the masseuse and the exercise bike.
2. These confounded English have lured the pride of Hilton, Michaelhouse, St Stithians and Bishops etc to glorious London and made them do things like queue, grocery shop and use public transport. Errggggh. Can you imagine? Making them do what most South Africans have to do every day. It’s virtually a crime against humanity.
3. It’s so funny – the England soccer team are not going to even make Euro 2008 – well, if you draw with Israel and don’t put eight goals past Andorra and have a striker who, if he was 6kg heavier should be playing at lock for the Griffons and another striker who likes ageing hookers and looks like the Webb Ellis trophy – then what do you expect? So the Rugby World Cup is all they have, so make sure you take that away. Remember RWC 2003 took the crowing through to the Ashes which in turn took them through until the Aussies sorted that out last year. There is nothing we can do about Lewis Hamilton, but it doesn’t really count if you copy other people’s cars.
4. They put glass in our grandmother’s sugar in the Boer war. Ask Bok van Blerk. He knows.
5. Kevin Pietersen. Mike Catt has been playing for England, with aplomb, for 15 years and he still sounds like he’s the barman at Toby Joes on the PE Beachfront – KP, with his England tattoos tries so hard with his pommy accent, it’s laughable. Deprive KP, a victim of such cruelty and deprivation in this cruel, evil, land, of another reason to gloat at SA.
6. Stuart Barnes, Brian Moore and every other insufferable English commentator. If we lose, having won 36-0 earlier, they and their papers will be crowing and filled with all the cliche’s about the greatest comeback since Lazarus. And we will have to see the bus trip down Oxford Street, the trip to the Queen for the OBE and Sir Rob Andrew. Don’t forget, as they come down here for their holidays this summer with their sandals and pink shirts, to drink elegant Constantia whites and desperate search for Nivea After Sun, that they will be here as rugby world champions. Absolutely impossible.
7. The French! The Poor old French. Not only did they have to lose the semi-final to the old enemy against whom they have probably fought wars for 150 years, in their great stadium during their own party, imagine if they have to hand them the William Webb Ellis Trophy to take back across the channel on the Eurostar. It is like having Eugene Terreblanche or Jeremy Clarkson walk into your lounge and seduce your daughter in front of you. The French will be supporting us, desperately. Let’s not let them down after laying on such a great World Cup.
8. Mark Regan. The thought of the most average, obnoxious hooker in world rugby being a world champion is too much to bear. To see him and Lawrence screaming and shouting Eng-er-land at the cameras at the final whistle will be life-altering. Love to see if this tubby little invertebrate would be so brave were he not hanging between Phil Vickery and Andrew Sheridan.
9. The Pride of the South. Listening to the English podcasts at the start of the World Cup, there was much angst and wailing about how woeful the northern hemisphere was. Now that has all changed. The Tri-Nations, Bledisloe Cup (7th and 8th place play off joke and all that) and the Super 14 lie disgraced as the very ugly also rans of rugby competitions. The North has risen, the Heineken Cup is a great tournament, French and English domestic leagues the best etc etc. As Jeremy Guscott said on one podcast after the quarters and the exit of our SANZAR partners “Goodbye and good riddance.” As much as we like to beat them, and as much as Graham Henry and the up-itself All Black management gives us the needle, Australia and new Zealand will be supporting us over England. The South is where we live and play. Let’s show them it is still the top of the rugby pile.
10. Those poor young gap year South Africans who go ‘overseas’ in their droves with romantic notions of freedom and life’s experiences, and end up living in Southfields and working as security guards at Sainsbury’s. Don’t let them have to hide their accents on the tube on Monday and let them stand near the frozen chicken counter with some pride as they look for hooded shop lifters. Do it for them.
Do you have some reasons of your own? Email us!
